Some Summer

When you’re summer goes from the end of april to the beginning of September, you’d think you could write a few blogs. Not the lemmon sisters. But doesn’t it make this one all the more exciting? One can only hope we haven’t lost our adoring fans. ADORING. Am I right?

So what the heck have we been doing this whole time? What the heck haven’t we been doing? Oh so existential. Let’s review some of our favorite summer moments.

What we learned in summer 08:

-When dirt girl wants to feed the chipmunk cheetos; don’t interrupt. (fanSPAZtic)
-eating eAtInG EATING!
-Coach races pigeons in addition to falcons
-bone stimulators: can they work??
-Cecily has the stress reaction that won’t stop reacting.
-“Now is this island completely surrounded by water?” wow.
-chickens should be the state bird of Hawaii
-Kyle knows just enough about the Twilight series to carry on a conversation. And make fun of it
-Cecily’s room is clean! It can be done
-Jessica wore a pink dress. And flirted while wearing it.
-Unlike many dads, our dad encourages kissing. And more kissing.
-Brooklyn knows all the words to Popular from Wicked
-Cecily learned how to switch car seats from one car to another. Tricky business
-swimming with turtles=EXCELLENT! Their mannerisms match Finding Nemo exactly
-BYU cross country shirts work well as splints
-Don’t hike the Na Pali coast when it’s raining
-If you’re car is making funny noises, or is a really old ford windstar and struggles on the drive to Stinson Beach, it’s probably just been filled up with “bad gas”. It’s not the car’s fault.
-baby cougar shirts for cross country=VERY INTIMIDATING
-If the first 30 minutes of your bike ride is downhill, with the wind, and on gravel, it’s 50 minutes and hellish when you turn back around
-If you’re on Ghiradelli Square you gotta get the ice cream…even if the date appears to be going poorly
-We ate the last meal ever served in the old cannon center. Oh canc. How we will miss you.
-When coach gives you directions on the hill run and you get lost, it’s embarrassing to flag down cars for help when everyone is in BYU uniform
-the first night your missionary returns home is probably not the best time to review recent dating experiences
-When random people can pick you out of a crowd at a soccer game, it’s cool.
-When you get in the football game day program, it’s even cooler. Except then you’re family makes sure everyone and their dog knows about it.
-summer reading with mom is our favorite. We miss the goose girl.
-colin firth should never play the gay role. Never. It’s just wrong.
-ain’t no party like a rock band party. Jess knows more of those songs than you’d think.
-Tom Holmoe and Brian Santiago liked our skit. THE MOST
-Jenna and Stacy are freaking hilarious (Tyra Banks, Michael Phelps, etc…)
-The stereotype of Mormons and large quantities of large zucchinis is REAL! Real, people.
-The authority of coach: “How many people want to lift at 9:00? How many want 10:00? Okay, we’ll lift at 11”
-speaking of lifting…sorry Josh, we skipped push press and snatches all summer. We pick and choose our lifts. Oh yeah, clapping push-ups were out too.
-when you can’t race on east bay golf course, or cascade golf course, you get to do loops around the field at the track and the coaches call it a “unique course” and “spectator friendly”. They forgot “awful and boring; awfully boring”
-Charlie Boys Barbeque is SO GOOD
-usada and wada
-Lemmon and Lemmon Handheld Videography is not the best choice to immortalize your wedding… we’re not the worst… we barely edge out Dilford and Butts 8mm.

no ending.

We were supposed to post this awhile ago, but kept forgetting. More updates about school and what not to come.

Bloopers!

Finger dancing skills, light girl skills, a freaky laugh...you know, all the good stuff.

cellphone

As you may already know, Jessica has some cell phone issues. Mostly she just never answers it. You may be one of the thousands frustrated by her lack of cell-availability. You may wonder why she even owns a cell phone. You may also be harboring a secret belief that she is the biggest nerd in the world. If you identify with any of these... this film is for you.
PS Get excited for the soon to be added blooper reel!
Or, if you don't want to wait, you could send a self addressed envelope, 2 General Mills UPC symbols, and $1.00 to us and we'll send you a dvd complete with movie and blooper reel... not a bad deal.

Zero Comments

Jess and I have realized that our last blog was…what’s the right word? Disturbing? The problem here is that jess has been sick and feverish the past few days and I…well I have no excuse except that I’d been inside almost the whole day and was going a little crazy. And we think we’re hilarious when really we’re just weird. In light of our insanity and the blog found directly below, we thought it appropriate to do a follow up (either to justify the temporary madness, or confirm that it is, in fact, a permanent problem: you decide).


Today’s topic is running through sickness. Jessica and I have had some fun adventures this past week. Starting with Huntington Beach on Sunday, Disneyland Monday, driving back to Provo Tuesday, a rained out track meet at the U on Wednesday, and finally a rescheduled track meet on Thursday. Jess had made a few comments about not feeling well before her race, but she ran the 1500 meters anyway posting a 5:04. Although she has run better times in practice, we took comfort in the fact that she was not last place. Coach’s post race meeting went something like this, “Have you been taking your iron?” Yeah, he was proud. Little did we know that Jess would spend a feverish night shaking under 7,000 blankets.


The next morning while talking to my brother, Kyle on the phone about it he said, “I feel like you girls are always getting sick when you race. Is that just bad timing?” Good question, “Kyle”… if that really is your name.





Moving on… racing under the influence of …influenza (I had a little bird, her name was Enza, I opened up the window and in flew Enza- best when sung while jump-roping) often results in slower times, bad placing, ugly pictures, and in rare cases death (refer to Cecily’s indoor conference 5k). However, racing while sick can be a positive experience with the help of Divine Intervention. Let’s review the past. During cross country 2007 sickness was overcome a total of two times resulting in some pretty awesome races: Hawaii and Regionals.


The question isn’t really, was the race good or bad. The question is, “Why the heck are you racing with 103 (is there a degree button on the keyboard?) degree temperature?” For normal people the only thing they’re running at a 103 is a fever. But this brings us to the crux of the matter, and that is that runners are insane. Why else would an individual dress in only underwear and a tank top and run their guts out when their body is already doing a pretty good job of beating itself up. Let’s see… my head is pounding, my body aches, snot is running out of my nose like a faucet, I have diarrhea and the bubonic plague, but I better go race this 5k. Wouldn’t want to miss that. It’s okay because I’ll get endorphins that will make me happy. I’ll get a runner’s high. No. You’ll wish that a ravenous tyrannosaurus rex would eat you alive.


True, runners are different (or as mom’s everywhere like to say, we’re “special”), but it’s not all bad. As our cousin Sarah Spilsbury pointed out this past weekend, we get to eat whatever we want. This may be because while with her we consumed In n Out, two and a half boxes of cereal, two and a half bags of chips (and dip), a vast majority of the singles ward ‘break the fast’ meal, and all the goodies that Disneyland had to offer, except the corn dog stand, which closed before I got to it. Those corn dogs are supposed to be huge. Next time, Disney, next time.


In conclusion, we find that going to the circus cures all diseases. If it doesn’t work, at least you got to see the circus. And while you’re there kindly grab us some peanuts, cotton candy, and a corn dog or two.






Included in this blog: SPECIAL FEATURES!!
*Deleted Comments*

"...and in rare cases death (refer to Cecily’s indoor conference 5k).(Yep, she's dead).(NOOOO!!!!-to be sung like Luke Skywalker in The Empire Strikes Back).

"dude if we had 7,000 blankets, we could make the sweetest tent"

"That's the funniest thing I've read all morning, and I wrote it!"

" Because racing through sickness is something that many runners face, we put together a list of tips that come from the president of CIRC or Chronic Illness Runners Club, Jerry Noodle:
1. Be hydrated. Drinking water helps to flush out sickness.
2. Run conservatively. You have to remember that you are sick and you need to take it down to a pace that your body can handle so that you don’t burn out.
3. Don’t slide into home if you are wearing white pants. Those stains rarely come all the way out.
4. Hefty little pigs never blew my house over. I wanted a raise and I got one.
We later found out that Jerry’s illness was Alzheimer’s disease."

IT'S OVER!!!

no one will get it. no one will get any of this.

Some time later…
Ceclika reminds me that lots of stuff has gone down lately. Disney, Jimmy, finals, races, sickness, race-sickness, qualified, B+ latin miracles, randy punjap’s retirement, homemade pizza,

“I think it would be cool if randy punjap retired.”
“From what?”
“Exactly.”
“Boredom? All he does is sit on your bed all day.

“Portrait of a Cecily and Jessica. Cecily is running into walls.”
“Boredoom.”

“Try breathing really deep. Like when you’re going to do the funny laugh… Does that help?”
“No.”

“We resorted to watching the bonus features of Indiana Jones to pass the time.”
“Those were pretty cool.”
“Yeah, but who does that?”
“Us… and Randy Punjap.”
“Randy Punjap is a bear.”
“With an eye patch.”

“We need to make some friends.”
“How do you make friends.”
“Be cool.”
“…”
“I am cool.”

“Hey this makes me look like I’m walking like a penguin.”
“What? All I can see are your flipsy arms.”

“Well, I haven’t even checked my grades yet”
“I know. I know that”

“We can call it ‘Insights to Insanity’”
“We can call it ‘randy punjap’s retirement’”

“I don’t want to be called ceclika… it sounds like paprika.”

"We're not dead yet!"

A Provo High freshman boy knocked on our door Wednesday night preaching that if we signed up for The Daily Herald to be delivered daily for only $8 a month we would be helping him pay for college. It was a good thing I answered the door and not Jessica. I was sold on two things; 1- This kid had a green Taking Back Sunday shirt on (a sure sign of trustworthiness and sincere academic aspirations)and 2- I am a communications major...maybe I should know what's going on...and support the printed word... Maybe.

*WE INTERPUT THIS BLOG FOR A SPECIAL NEWS UPDATE*
Two local girls, Jessica and Cecily Lemmon, are in critical condition after doctors pronounced that they are moving into the final stages of Wehatehomeworkandtestsandcoldweatheritis, or what is more commonly known as Spring Fever. These sisters are locally respected runners and recent winners of Provo's prestigious Cereal Eating Contest.
Long time and close friend Randy Punjap informed us that Jessica and Cecily have always struggled with Early Onset Senioritis, "Some day they is coming home to the house and never doings the study. They is always with the electronies and the laughings and singings. I always is saying 'You go nowhere! You do nothing!' But they is listening never" Randy said.
Studies have shown that the increasing threat of Spring Fever infects one in five young adults yearly. Researchers have yet to find a cure, but early warning signs inlude procrastination or neglect of homework, slow reaction time to alarm clocks, slurred speech when speaking on subjects of academia, irritability, loss of hearing in class, drowsiness when stationary for extended periods of time, increased attraction to outdoors and sunlight, uncontrollable staring out of windows, and when indoors in a constant unresponive state of lethargy. If your child is experiencing severe diarrhea, consult your doctor immediately.
In honor of Jessica and Cecily the community will be gathering at local Provo River Trail Skatepark, for a candlelight vigil and prayer circle on Friday night at 7:00 p.m. Skating to follow.
*NOW BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BLOG*

I mean, it would be nice to be "in the know" about local news. Maybe then Jess and I would have been informed that it is no longer safe to park in your own parking garage, "I am shocked and disgusted at the increased levels of Gadianton Robber behavior in Provo" (quote generously provided by Mom). It's always nice to wake up to the news that 19 cars have been broken into and stolen from. That's okay, perhaps now that the crime has been committed, we will simply follow the hard hitting investigative journalism that is sure to follow. And we'll surely join the facebook group "The LPGW" (Lanai Parking Garage Watch) that is bound to be created. Luckily, we don't keep many valuables in our cars. Jess has some loli-pops and her library card, and mine has...trash. Oh yeah there's a cowboy hat in the trunk too. Please, somebody steal that.

On the plus side, now Jess doesn't even have to roll down the window to catch a little Spring Fever.

The Law of Ten Percent

Parents spend a great deal of time trying to teach their children certain values, showering them at every opportunity with golden nuggets of wisdom that they’ve picked up along their own journey through life, in hopes that the stupid mongrels, who just hung their sister off a tree branch to play piñata, might amount to something more than drunken convicts.

Despite our uncanny ability to zone out during most of these blessed teaching opportunities, a few important lessons have stuck with us… Mother is always right, if you want to continue to breathe outside air and feel the warmth of the sun… If you throw your sandwiches away at school, someone will find out… The mother phone tree should never be underestimated… Life is always better with a bowl of ice cream… But the bit of instruction that has really come to be an integral part of our lives is what we call the 10% rule. The basic principle of this rule is that any story you tell need only contain 10% truth. The other 90% is pretty much whatever the heck else you want it to be. We have yet to determine if this rule falls into the category of literary devices such as hyperbole, apostrophe, tenpercentole… or if it is more of a scientific law, a thermodynamic measurement of how much we’ll burn in hell.

Needless to say, it has come in handy in numerous situations. From the justification of class II criminal offenses, to excusals from school, to possibly its most essential use, writing research papers. It saved me once when I was about five and had the urge to spank baby Cecily’s diapered bum. I threw all my five-year-old muscle and might into that smack. Of course the kid had to start crying and then mom had to come running in and well… you can see where this is going… When asked what happened, I confidently responded that, “I came in here and she just started crying.” At least ten percent of that response was completely accurate. I came in the room and Cecily did start crying. And that’s how it works. We’ll leave more recent examples out of it.

So, why are we telling you all this? This our official warning to you that anything that appears on this blog may only contain 10% truth. If you happen to be included in any of our entries and feel that we are misrepresenting you or your life, we apologize but urge you to keep in mind our standards. Raise the bar. Raise the bar?

why deal with the peel?

basically we just like to hear ourselves talk... or make people read the junk we write. plus, we are fairly convinced that we're funny.

life ambitions include, but are not limited to: winning community road race prizes (bring on those triple xl t-shirts), writing childrens books and whatever the heck else we want, owning large cereal dispensers (such as the one found in school cafeterias and hotel continental breakfasts), and building a theme park in the backyard we don't have yet.

when we were kids we published a popular newspaper, you may have heard of it, The Lemmon Times. Met by immense success and a plethora of positive reviews from the literary community, The Lemmon Times fostered new writing endeavors, "Birthday poems for Mom", "The Diaries of Junior High Angst", and "What I wish I'd Known Before I Met Coach Shane: Advice for Aspiring Runners and Falcons", just to name a few. Now, back by popular demand, the subtle but succulent writing styles of The Lemmon Sisters will be posted here, peel by peel, for your viewing pleasure.

so, sit back and become part of the magic. it's magic harry!