A Provo High freshman boy knocked on our door Wednesday night preaching that if we signed up for The Daily Herald to be delivered daily for only $8 a month we would be helping him pay for college. It was a good thing I answered the door and not Jessica. I was sold on two things; 1- This kid had a green Taking Back Sunday shirt on (a sure sign of trustworthiness and sincere academic aspirations)and 2- I am a communications major...maybe I should know what's going on...and support the printed word... Maybe.
*WE INTERPUT THIS BLOG FOR A SPECIAL NEWS UPDATE*
Two local girls, Jessica and Cecily Lemmon, are in critical condition after doctors pronounced that they are moving into the final stages of Wehatehomeworkandtestsandcoldweatheritis, or what is more commonly known as Spring Fever. These sisters are locally respected runners and recent winners of Provo's prestigious Cereal Eating Contest.
Long time and close friend Randy Punjap informed us that Jessica and Cecily have always struggled with Early Onset Senioritis, "Some day they is coming home to the house and never doings the study. They is always with the electronies and the laughings and singings. I always is saying 'You go nowhere! You do nothing!' But they is listening never" Randy said.
Studies have shown that the increasing threat of Spring Fever infects one in five young adults yearly. Researchers have yet to find a cure, but early warning signs inlude procrastination or neglect of homework, slow reaction time to alarm clocks, slurred speech when speaking on subjects of academia, irritability, loss of hearing in class, drowsiness when stationary for extended periods of time, increased attraction to outdoors and sunlight, uncontrollable staring out of windows, and when indoors in a constant unresponive state of lethargy. If your child is experiencing severe diarrhea, consult your doctor immediately.
In honor of Jessica and Cecily the community will be gathering at local Provo River Trail Skatepark, for a candlelight vigil and prayer circle on Friday night at 7:00 p.m. Skating to follow.
*NOW BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BLOG*
I mean, it would be nice to be "in the know" about local news. Maybe then Jess and I would have been informed that it is no longer safe to park in your own parking garage, "I am shocked and disgusted at the increased levels of Gadianton Robber behavior in Provo" (quote generously provided by Mom). It's always nice to wake up to the news that 19 cars have been broken into and stolen from. That's okay, perhaps now that the crime has been committed, we will simply follow the hard hitting investigative journalism that is sure to follow. And we'll surely join the facebook group "The LPGW" (Lanai Parking Garage Watch) that is bound to be created. Luckily, we don't keep many valuables in our cars. Jess has some loli-pops and her library card, and mine has...trash. Oh yeah there's a cowboy hat in the trunk too. Please, somebody steal that.
On the plus side, now Jess doesn't even have to roll down the window to catch a little Spring Fever.
5 comments:
This may just be your best blog yet, (although I will not credit is as your best blog ever, because I do not want to limit the great things your blog has in store). I like to think I had something to do with its greatness, since it was partially done on my request.
My personal favorites include, the generous quote from Mom Lemmon, (the dangerous Gadianton Robbers are hiding in the hills you know), and the acutely accurate self diagnosis. Having the runs can be especially dangerous for young children.
All I have to say is continue with the blogs. And thank goodness the lollipops were not stolen, heaven help us if they had been!
holy crap cecily... you freakin crack me up.
and those kids sold that stupid newspaper subscription to me too!!! haha.. i couldnt say no, i dont know why... on a normal day i would have. i think it was because i just had an amazing breakfast at maglebeeeeees (i cant spell) and i was feeling oh so happy (and full)...
keep writing...
You are hilarious! I love reading what you write! You're awesome :)
"I am appalled...!"
Haven't we replaced the lollipops once already? I just don't know how much more we can take!
BTW, I'm sending all the kids with magazine subscription sales your way! (There's another word that comes to mind...it's a lot like lollipop...need I say more?)
I will leave you with an interesting bit of trivia to ponder. When I have your blog page open and the Windows label is down at the bottom of the monitor screen, this is what it reads and all that you see:
"Blogger:Lemmon Pee..."
I'm just saying...
Maybe if you let me know where to find that garage, I can get someone to clean out my car for me. I am sure someone would have use for all those food wrappers.
Post a Comment