The real problem is I only blog when I feel sad or funny. Jessica – Cecily = Not so funny and Jessica + Not at Disneyland = Not Sad. Not Sad : No Blog :: Not Funny : … No Blog. (I’m studying for the GRE… fyi- : stands for “is to” and :: stands for “ as”) Additionally, the blog is LemmonPeelS— emphasis on the plural— and currently I’m the only peel left on this rotten rind. But I did want to let the world (or the two people who may read this blog) know that “it (dland) is funny now” or at least behind me, although still somewhat embarrassing. Don’t bring it up around me.
So, what do I write about now? Maybe my job as a substitute teacher and the day that an eighth grade history class went “Freedom Writers” on me? Because the last 25 minutes the class started a debate on racism and attitudes toward color today, with questions about racial profiling, the term “nigger” (nigga), and reverse discrimination, which culminated in the class’ emphatic declaration that the solution was to stand united, if only in that class— to have each other’s backs and to “hold hands across the world”. The entire class, boys and girls from varied backgrounds, held hands in a big circle, cell phones out recording the moment. “We are One” was then written and signed on the whiteboard (nothing against blackboards). None of this was prompted by me… I was just lucky enough to witness it and I hope I never forget.
Or I could bemoan the Dating Awareness Month (D.A.M. or Dating Awareness Month Nonsense) that the Bishop of our singles ward has implemented, encouraging dating as a serious priesthood responsibility.
I live in fear.
Friday and Saturday nights are my junk food and pj, relax-at-home nights. I miss you, Disney Channel. I wish you existed, Saboyf.
Or I could brag about the rad distance team I’m coaching with Kay Nekota and how fast they’re going to be this season.
But the most intriguing thing I can think of writing about is the hot pink, foot-tall, felt figurine of Jesus Christ sitting on the desk of the FFA teacher I’m subbing for right now. It’s almost as cool as the Jesus band-aid that Everett sent me from New York (Jesus Heals!), which Jordyn won by default in our Real-Life-Wii-Sports-Competition that we never finished.
Wiffleball didn’t count, Jordy.
I was so moved I composed my feelings in verse. I’d love for someone to put it to music. I’m thinking big-band or jazz. It could be in the next edition of the hymnal.
Jesus, in felt
The incline
Of your humble head
That I climb
To reach the
Beckoning hands
Laid at your breast,
Soft as felt.
Neon like a zealot—
The intensity of
My Hot Pink faith.
The Divine inspiration
To erect and endure
The didactic statuette—
The Apogee of the Veracity
Of the Grandeur of our Lord—
Whose Dread hand did thou form?
Don’t worry, I asked Mr. Johnson where he got it on my sub report. If it’s on sale, I might be able to pick one up for my mom (she loves pink… and Jesus). And just in time for Valentines Day!
10 comments:
Oh my goodness...Valentines Day cannot come fast enough! How can I stand the wait?
(Pink just goes with everything, don't you think?)
i think that Pink Jesus' uni-brow should have a shout out. but my favorite line is the hands laid on his breast. (scroll up...it's true!) perhaps the best thing was that the first time i read through, i thought your poem was serious. you and your hot pink faith.
by the way, how was your job at disneyland?
Maybe whoever wrote the Buttercream Jesus song (inspired by a butter statue of Jesus, of course) will also put yours to music. It won't be as catch as "Imperial Jesus....I can't believe it's not Jesus" But with the hot pink felt pic on the cover it's bound to be a hit somewhere.
I feel your pain with the DAM upcoming month
haha! ok so whiffle ball totally counts!! and that really happened in a class?? i am amazed. btw, pink Jesus is the coolest statue ever.
I would love to see a certain U.S.A.F. pilot put your poem to music and sing it on weekends in a coffee shop near you.
Randomly found your blog! You are honestly one of the most creative people I have ever met! Thanks for the much need laugh! Love ya!
A new post! I do read! Um, funniest line of the post: Whiteboard vs. Blackboard. HAHA! I laughed, like, out loud.
hey how did i miss seeing this for an entire month!
you're cute.
and i would also like to see that pilot put your words to music and play it in a near by coffee shop because 1. your lyrics are always better than mine. and 2. playing in a near coffee shop would mean i'd be NEAR!
I also read you blog, and I just added it to "my blog list" so keep updating Lemmons!
and about the pink Jesus, (pronounced hey-Zeus) it's brilliant. such a great valentine gift idea... so great that Jeff got me a chocolate Jesus. He had the same reasoning- i love chocolate and Jesus. perfect.
love you.
You are hilarious. I miss you.
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