LEMMON PEELS

Get 'em while they're fresh! Get 'em while they're still Lemmons!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

partiplog (participation blog)

Blogs. They’re pretty cool. A fun way to keep people up-to-date on your life or just a way to say whatever the heck you want and then tell your friends to read it. But some blogs have become so much more. For example there are vlogs (video blogs), qlogs (question blogs), artlogs (art blogs), photoblogs (photo blogs), and sketchblogs (if you aren’t catching on to how this works by now, it’s time to walk away from your computer and go read some books.) Discovering these other types of blogs got me thinking, I wonder if they have advicelogs or supglogs (support group blogs). Or maybe, huplogs (hook up blogs… they would be like the personals section in the newspaper… oh wait… we’ve already got facebook.) The point is that we’ve had this blog going (on and off… and by that I mean mostly off) for over a year now and there is so much we haven’t done. There is so much untapped potential… sportlogs, techlogs, weathlogs, fashiologs, polilogs, scielogs, cerealogs, disnelogs, hotlogs… the list goes on.

We’ve decided it is time to branch out. Stretch our limbs. Peel back the rind and find the bittersweet juice that makes this citrus fruit so much better than grapefruit and way worse than oranges.

I’ve stumbled across qlogs in the past, usually when I’m looking up something really important, like the song in that cool sprite commercial when the guy dives into the basketball court. I love that song. I love the way mom gasped when she first saw the commercial. Anyway, I came across about a thousand qlogs that had postings from people that restated my question, “where can I find that song that plays in that cool sprite commercial?” And then there would be like four responses that said: “I don’t know, but I love that song.” “I don’t think it is a real song.” “Yeah, I don’t know either.” “I hate sprite and your grandma.” I still don’t know what song it was and I love my grandma.

My favorite kind of qlogs are the those in the medical genre. It always has some name like DrMDlog. I know because I had a freaky rash a couple months ago and I was scouring these sites looking for possible diagnoses for my symptoms. I ended up reading questions like the following:

“My son came home with a red rash on his forearms and has been complaining of an upset stomach. The rash has persisted beyond a week now and I am unsure what it is or what to do. -Deliriously Unaware Mother”

The first answer is always by a “real” doctor:
“Dear DUM,
From what you have told me, your son is experiencing a mild case of uradermatolopolio. Soak forearm in cool water. Apply moisturizer every twenty minutes to affected area for the next seven months. If symptoms persist see your local doctor. –Dr. Watergate”

The next few comments are by just about anyone:
“Do you have any witchatock spiders in your house? Because the same thing happened to me two years ago. I thought I had some rash, but it ended up being these spider bites. I tried everything and eventually had to move out of my house. I would start looking for a good real estate agent now.”
“My good friend had a similar experience and she didn’t do anything about it and it just went away in about four weeks.”
“Have you tried peanut butter?”
“My uncle died from something like this. Turns out his spleen exploded and he died.”

In my case, and probably in DUM’s case too, despite the sound advice gained from my research on the internet, I ended up going to my doctor to get a real diagnosis. And I gained a valuable lesson: qlogs are good for absolutely nothing. Which is precisely why we would like to try it out here on our blog for a little while. Sound fun? Yes. It does.
So, here’s how it’s going to work… you submit a question, any question, to us and we, using our vast library of knowledge and life experiences (and maybe the internet), will answer your questions right here on our blog. This is the chance of a lifetime, people. The chance of a lifetime. (Repeated for emphasis.)

Just post your questions here on the blog. If it’s a medical question… might I suggest DrMDlog.

8 comments:

Liz said...

The bottoms of my feet get so painful sometimes while doing yoga. What do you think this could be? I've searched everywhere...I think I might be dying and only have a few days left...SO HURRY WITH MY ANSWER PLEASE?

Anonymous said...

Dear Lemmon Peels:

Can you draw a dragon? I want to see your skills as an artist.

Carolyn Quebe Williams said...

LOVE it. Haha, you guys are hilrious. Can I just say, as soon as the music started when I opened your blog, I laughed and thought, "Yep, this is definitley a Lemmon blog" :) Miss you both! Oh, and nice work in Washington Cec!

okie_gal said...

Why is it that females can't stand a granny panty wedgie, yet have no problem wearing thongs?
Why is it wrong to wear polka dots with plaid?
Do short men feel like little boys?
If you never shaved your arm pits, how long would the hair grow?
Why is it that the Hulk's pants are shredded at his calves and knees,but otherwise remain intact?
Is that enough ?'s to get started with? :)

okie_gal said...

Hey chicas, my mind is racing with ?'s so just tell me when you've had enough.
Why would you give a moose a muffin?
Why do they promote Cheetos as a food that makes you do mean things to others?
Why does the random hair grow out of moles?
How many members would apostasize if chocolate was added to the WofW?
Who was the first person to see an egg come out of a chicken's butt, and decide it might be worth eating?
How many cats does a single woman need to have before being dubbed the crazy cat woman?
Why do frogs make a "popping" sound when you drive over them?
Why does FEMA have so many concentration camps in the US? (look it up online, it's for real!)
Why do medicine balls contain no medicine?
What's with the handicap sign to the right of the word verification?
Gina

Anonymous said...

Why is no one answering these questions? I really want to hear your answer to kaizer.

Anonymous said...

Why do people think it's funny to antagonize each other? Is it pyschological?

Ray Hausler said...

What happens when they're not Lemmons anymore?